Totally Confused

I am the only one for the camp at Boossa, army training camp. I am being cursed by the nature. God always make me alone in the world. But I still don't understand the reason.
I feel guilty. But I don't know the reason why I am feeling like that. Everyone live because they want to enjoy.
I also like enjoying, far beyond enjoying. I like to dream as a free man. And I don't want to be a complicated man. I dreamed to be a physicist but unfortunately, I happened to choose the path, engineering. I don;t like it.
I always wanted to be a man dreaming. I can make imaginary scenes and I can live there for hours. That is one of my hobbies. And I am still thinking what would happen to me in the future.....I still don't know about it.

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